Your Secret Admirer
by animeloveramy
Summary: 'I wonder, if I was to write a letter to him, a love letter, how would he react? Would he and Hikaru do the same as they used to before? Or would he come and see me, nicely, like a regular guy? I suppose there is only one way to find out.'
1. Chapter 1

**This is my new ****Ouran story! I got the idea when watching episode 20, the twin's past one. **

**oxo…oxo**

I had always been able to tell the Hitachiin twins apart; even before they joined the host club. I was always the one in the background, watching and waiting. Though they had never come out of their shells and had said nothing to anyone unless they were spoken to first, I had learned them, studied them; determined to work them out. It had been hard, but I had always liked a puzzle, liked a challenge.

Me being as quiet as I am, I was almost as unspoken to as the twins. Of course, Nattilia was always with me. She sat next to me in class, ate lunch with me, she was my best friend. She was also our voice being one of the loudest and most popular in the class. We were so different, yet somehow, we had connected and built a friendship like none other I had.

She was the one who had told me of how the twins treated the girls who wrote them love letters as she herself had written Hikaru one. In a way I understood why they did what they did, though that didn't mean I agreed with it. They had torn out her heart, ripped it into pieces and tossed it aside, in a matter of minutes. I had been watching from our classroom window when it had happened and was about to go and comfort her when I noticed a blonde boy walking towards her. He seemed to comfort her for a while but she had been heartbroken for days.

A few months later, the host club had formed. It had, somehow, been a major hit as soon as it opened and most of the girls in our class had been attending within the week. But not me.

Nattilia had dragged me along once. I had joined her at the table she sat at with the blonde who had comforted her before. Tamaki Suho. That was his name. He had been a very forward boy with his violet eyes and handsome locks. It had been the perfect place for her, very meant for her personality, but I was different. Looking back, if I had had my first hosting session with Mori-sempi or even Ootori-sempi, I may have taken too it better. But even so, I never went again.

We're in high school now and the twins seem to be opening up, though, thanks to my study of them since elementary, I was still the only one who could tell them apart. That is, till Haruhi came along. He can tell them apart easily. It seems to just come naturally for him. I don't mind. It's kind of refreshing really, in a weird sort of way.

Lately, I've been studying Kaoru more and more. He is the more sensitive of the two I've noticed. I wonder, if I was to write a letter to him, a love letter, how would he react? Would he and Hikaru do the same as they used to before? Or would he come and see me, nicely, like a regular guy. I suppose there is only one way to find out.

Nattilia doesn't approve. She thinks they'll hurt me, the way they hurt her, but I don't believe that. Besides, if they do try to do the same thing, I would be able to give them the answer they wanted. And it's not like they don't talk to me. In fact, Kaoru says hello to me every morning as he walks past my desk.

Slowly, from my place by the window, I walked towards my desk. There's no one around. They've all gone home or are at the host club. Opening my desk, I fish out a piece of paper. It's a nice paper; from an old stationary set I used to have, tinted pink around the edges. Next a grab my pen before writing;

_Dear Kaoru,_

I pause, thinking. What should I write?

_I have been watching you for a long time and you have grown very dear to me over the years. I would like it very much if you would meet me after school tomorrow, before your host club activities, on the __walk our classroom looks over. I would like you ask you something. _

_Yours truly,_

_Your secret admirer. _

_P.S. this is not just a silly host club fan prank or anything. _

That should do I suppose. I've never been any good at writing love letters but it gets the point across, that's the main thing.

I fold the paper before slipping it into an envelope and sealing it. Getting up, I walk quietly over to his desk before I slowly open the lid and slip it inside. Closing the lid again with a faint clunk, I breathe out heavily before quickly grabbing my bag and hightailing it out of the room, wondering what tomorrow will bring.

**oxo…oxo**

**Thank you for reading my story! It was originally going to be just a one-shot but after writing it I wonder if I should continue it. **

**I want your advice! If you would like me to continue, tell me and I may but if no one says anything then I won't. It's up to you!**

**But, please review anyway… I love reviewers, they make my day!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, people asked me to extend it and so I did! Hope you enjoy!**

**oxo…oxo**

When I arrived at school that morning I was nervous. Nervous at his reaction, what he may do. I told myself steady; stay calm. But it wasn't much use. I was nervous anyway. When I walked through the door and into our classroom I sucked at the air. He was reading it. Discreetly and inside a book but I could tell it was my letter by the intense look on his face. I walked to my seat at the back of the classroom. Nattilia was waiting for me with a smile.

'Hey there Yuki!' she greeted. She had long brown hair and intensely brown eyes that seemed to bore straight to your soul. I loved her eyes.

'Hey.' I greeted back, smiling a small smile at her as I took my seat to her right. Where as my skin was pale and almost white, hers' was olive toned and brown. And although my hair was the same length as hers', mine was pure white; like snow. It's what I was named after.

You may be thinking that a girl with white hair and blue eyes would be noticed more than I am. I suppose I was when I first arrived at this school; my second year of elementary. Heads turned all the time back then, but after a while I became part of the background, my quiet personality hiding me from people's eyes.

It was then that I met Nattilia. She had been the one to show me around on my first day and we had been friends ever since. She had been popular then and was only more so now. Now that she had grown.

As I sat down I looked at Kaoru. He was still looking at my note. I could see it perfectly now; sitting in the middle of the book he was pretending to read. But I could no longer see his face and it worried me. My heart started to race and my breathing became heavy. I jumped, my bottom lifting from the seat, as Nattilia spoke my name in confusion.

'What's wrong with you?' she asked me with a frown. I studied how her eyebrows wrinkled in the middle as she looked at me and remained silent. She sighed. 'You looked like you were having a panic attack!' she told me in exasperation as she shook her head meaningfully. I looked back at Kaoru instinctively and she followed my gaze. I saw her eyes widen slightly as understanding reached her and cursed myself mentally for looking. How stupid could I be really?

'You did it didn't you!' she whispered loudly to me. I winced. Whisper it to the world why don't you?

'Yes.' I replied. 'But please; shush!' I begged her, hoping she would understand. She frowned but remained silent. I sighed in relief before looking back at her again. She was giving me a look that said _we _will _discuss this later_. I smiled dryly at her and nodded, just as the teacher arrived to start the lesson.

Time flew after that. Lunch time came and went with the discussion we were supposed to have forgotten due to a special of 'fancy tuna' on the menu board that gave all the Haruhi Fujioka fans a great show. Apparently he had wanted to try the fish for ages: so Hikaru had brought him some.

The second half of lessons had gone almost as quickly and before I knew it, it was time to meet him. I stood up with shaking hands as the bell dismissing us rang sharply through the halls. I could see Kaoru and Hikaru talking to each other quietly as they packed up. Haruhi had already left. I waved goodbye to Nattilia quickly before rushing off to our rendezvous point, my heart beating wildly.

It took him about ten minutes to get there. It was defiantly him and there was no sign of Hikaru, though that didn't mean he wasn't there. I would be on my guard.

'Hello.' He said; his voice not _cold_, but certainly not friendly.

'Hi.' I answered, gulping down my nerves and biting by lip.

'I'm guessing you're the one who left this letter?' he asked, holding said letter in front of him between middle and forefinger. I nodded, unable to speak. He seemed to ready himself, taking in a deep breath and straightening himself up.

'I'm sorry.' He started. 'I'm Hikaru. You must have left it in my desk by accident.' My heart sank at these words. So, they were going to play it like this were they? I made my face fall, a look of despair and humiliation appear on it. If they wanted to play this game with me, I wasn't going to lose.

'oh… I - I'm sorry…' I said quietly, biting my lip again and tuning my head away from him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw his face fall slightly before he composed himself and lent over towards me with a small smirk on his face.

'but you know, I've always liked you. You are very cute… do you think you could settle with me instead?'

I looked into his eyes. They were bright gold and so lonely. It caused me sadness to look into those eyes and I found the fight spilling out of me. I couldn't play their game anymore. I sighed sadly before putting a hand to his cheek and softly caressing it. I watched as his eyes widened in surprise.

'I thought you where better than this Kaoru.' I told him softly. 'I guess I was wrong. But no, I don't want Hikaru. I liked you.' I finished quietly, tears running down my face as I turned and ran from him, my heart breaking more and more with each and every step.

**oxo…oxo**

**I hope you like this second chapter. I don't know if it was what you where expecting but I think it turned out all right… **

**Please, if you have any ideas as to what could come next then tell me, I love to hear other people's opinions. I can often find ways to bounce them around with my own ideas and create an even better idea!**

**So, thanks for reading and please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**This is the first chapter with Kaoru as the narrator. I thought it would fit and show both sides of the emotion. I know that some people don't like it when a story changes perspective but I think it's what's best for this story. I hope you like it!**

**Step inside the mind of Kaoru**

**oxo…oxo**

I watched her as she ran off with a deep feeling of guilt and regret. I had liked that girl. Though I never knew her name, I had always wondered what it was. None of the others in class had ever called her it loudly, not in all the years she had been here. I had spoken to her, said hi to her most mornings but… It was strange now to think that I had just blown my only chances to even be friends with her in just a few careless words. And that she knew what I was doing as I said it only made it worse. Somehow, she had known it was me and not Hikaru.

I dropped my head, my fringe covering my eyes as I watched her run from me. I could feel my heart tear at the thought of what I had just done and could only imagine what she must have been feeling. I sensed rather than heard Hikaru reveal himself from behind the bush. I didn't turn as he walked up to me and placed a hand on my shoulder.

'Kaoru?' he asked me softly, obviously worried about what had just happened. I pulled my shoulder away from him harshly and immediately felt guilty for it. It may have been his idea but I went along with it. It wasn't his fault. I couldn't blame him. Not really.

I sighed. 'Sorry.' I murmured quietly before running off in the opposite direction from the girl whose name I still didn't know.

**xxx…xxx**

I didn't go to club that afternoon. I sat in the garden of Ouran and watched the flower petals fall. Hikaru didn't come and find me. I don't think I really expected to. I didn't expect any of them to. But someone did. Someone even more unexpected than any club member.

Nattilia Daikuji.

I had spoken to her only a few times in demanding conversations. She was a nice girl and smart. She was known to be that girl's best friend and she didn't look happy. Her eyes were narrowed and her brow was wrinkled. Her hands were on her hips and she was scowling.

Damn.

'What did you do to Yuki?' she demanded fiercely. I guess that must be the girl's name. Yuki. It fit her well, as quiet, pale and beautiful as the snow.

'Nothing…' I gasped quickly. It was a bit too defensive and she knew it. If possible, her eyes narrowed further.

'You did something! She had tears running down her face as she flew down that corridor! I knew she would get hurt! It's what you've always done. You did it to me too! _What did you do?_' she hissed. I imagined her head would be turning red at about this point. She looked like she was about to explode with anger.

I felt my eyes widen. I remember her now. She was one of those girls who had written us a love letter just before the boss had come into the picture. 'I'm sorry.' I apologized, suddenly feeling guilty for all of the girl's hearts I had helped tear out. 'but wasn't it Hikaru you wrote a letter to?' I asked her, hoping it wouldn't upset her more. She nodded.

'Yes, but you were part of it. Did you do the same thing to her? You basted! She trusted you!' Nattilia cried. I looked down, ashamed. I knew this but it didn't help hearing it from someone else.

'I know.' I told her quietly.

'You do, do you?' she whispered loudly and angrily at me. I looked up at her again, into those eyes. Those eyes filled with hatred. She had been holding this hate in for so long. Her hate for me, her hate for my brother. It hurt to think that we deserved this hate. I thought suddenly about the conversations we had shared, me and Hikaru happily laughing and joking with her and shame filled me. How must she have felt, to not even have been recognised by us? To have no apology for the crimes against her and having to act like she didn't care.

'I never thought we would do that again.' I told her bitterly, looking her in the eyes as I spoke. 'But then I got that letter and, well, I suppose old habits die hard. I don't know why I did it. I mean, I do like her. But she'll never trust me again. Just like you.' I saw her eyes soften slightly as I spoke. I looked down again. Why was I telling _her_ this? She didn't care. Why would she?

'No, she won't. At least, not for a while.' She told me softly. I looked at her in surprise as she settled herself down next to me on the bench I was sat on.

'What do you mean?' I asked her, watching her hair blow softly in the wind. She truly was beautiful.

'You still have a chance Kaoru.' She answered dreamily, in a voice often used by the boss when he was trying to help people. 'But you need to prove yourself. Prove to her an to me that you can be trustworthy and truly want to be her friend-' she looked at me, sending her intelligent brown eyes into my soul. 'And maybe she'll let you back. She really likes you, you know.' She finished before heading off and leaving me sitting there, watching as her skirt and hair danced in the wind, waltzing intricately with the flower petals.

**oxo…oxo**

**I seem to be quite consistent with the size of these chapters. The actual story hasn't gone over two pages yet…**

**Hope you like it! Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Step inside the mind of Yuki**

**oxo…oxo**

Over the next few days I refused to go to school. I couldn't face him. I know, I'm a baby, but I just couldn't do it. Not after that. I really thought he would be better than that. I really thought we might be able to have something, become better friends at least. But now I wasn't sure if I would want to. I sighed as I curled myself up tighter in my sheets. I was still in bed and _'suffering from a bad cold'_.

Harrumph.

My maid was smart. She knew something was going on, but she also knew me well enough to know I wouldn't tell her easily. So she had left me alone to sulk. She wouldn't stand for it on Monday though. I knew that.

She had been my maid since I was two so she knew me well. Her name was Isis. She was an elderly lady from Egypt but had come to Japan when she was 20 and been here ever since. She had been my nanny, maid and friend. I loved her very much.

It was Saturday today. Tomorrow I would have the day to settle myself for school the day after. Fun. I would be calm, collected. I wouldn't look at him. At least not for a while. I needed to be sure I was ok before I spoke to him again I had decided. But it wasn't going to be that easy. Kaoru made sure of that.

On the Monday morning, when I walked through the door, he was sat in his seat. I usually got there before him and I wondered why he had arrived early. I knew I had arrived at the same time as usual. Then he looked at me and I understood. He had been waiting for me. That was why he was here early. But why did he want to do that? Did he want to torment me or something? My respect for the twins had plummeted and it must have shown in my eyes as they locked with Kaoru's because he winced visibly.

I looked away from him quickly before taking my seat at the back of the room. Haruhi was watching me, occasionally looking between me and Kaoru with a confused expression on his face. At least they don't brag I suppose. I spent the rest of the day avoiding his gaze. He stayed away from me mostly but always seemed to be looking at me. It was unnerving. Why did he care?

As the bell signalling the end of classes rang, I got up with Nattilia right behind me. I saw Kaoru get up too and watched him as he went to block me from the door. Crap. But before I could do anything, Nattilia stalked past me. Her face was scrunched up in a frown. Steadily, she walked up to Kaoru who was looking at her with a bemused expression. My eyes widened as Nattilia shook her head and pushed him out the door saying something that I couldn't make out and slapping him irritably across the arm. He protested but didn't try and stop her. She then turned to me and we walked out the door together, moving past him and down the corridor.

Kaoru looked stunned and I know I was. Our eyes met as we walked past each other and I felt my eyes widen even more as he mouthed something to me. Something I have to admit I didn't think he would say.

All this time I've been worried about him wanting to make fun of me, laugh at me or even pretend nothing had happened. This shocked me so much I wasn't paying attention and the whole ride home and the conversation I had apparently had with the neighbours cat.

He had said the one word to me that could have possibly made a difference. The one word, the only word I wanted to hear from him.

He had said 'sorry.'

Slowly, a small smile came across my face as I walked around my room. I was slowly, yet surely, beginning on the road to forgiveness.

**oxo…oxo**

**Hope you like it!**

**Sorry about the wait. I wasn't sure how to go about writing this one… it's a little shorter than the others but I suppose that's not necessarily a bad thing, right?**

**Cookies for my wonderful reviewers! I love you all! **


	5. Chapter 5

**oxo…oxo**

**Step inside the mind of Kaoru.**

'_Don't. She's not ready to speak to you yet.'_

Nattilia's warning sat heavily on my mind as I sat in the club room that afternoon. I was running on autopilot as I joked with the ladies and acted with Hikaru. I had done the only thing that I could think of at the time. Nattilia had told me no, but I had done it anyway. I had told her sorry.

It felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. The look that crossed her face after I had whispered those two words had filled me with hope and made me feel less guilty. She had seemed so hopeful, so renewed in that one second our eyes had continued to meet that she seemed to come alive again before me. I had also seen the tears that had formed; those dainty drops of salt water that had pierced her eyes.

I smiled slightly, lost in the memory of her face. 'Kaoru?' asked a voice. I jolted myself out of my reverie and looked up. Haruhi was standing next to me with a tea tray in hand and a worried look on her face. The customers had gone and Hikaru was off teasing the boss. Haruhi had obviously just been over there as the boss was fuming and Hikaru was grinning. I smiled slightly before turning back to Haruhi, whose frown had deepened.

'What?' I asked her, frowning myself.

'Are you ok?' she asked me slowly, her voice careful but confident. I nodded.

'Yes, why?' I asked her. She may be dense when it came to her own problems but Haruhi was sharp about everyone else's. Nothing seemed to get by her except feelings of love.

'Well, you seem down. And you're not tormenting Tamaki-sempi with Hikaru.' She told me. I looked at the other pair again. Ever since the trick we played on Yuki, Hikaru had seemed to get further away from me. I guess he wanted to give me some space. It had been what I needed. Hikaru could be as perceptive as Haruhi when he wanted to be. Looking back at Haruhi, I smiled sadly.

'I suppose I am. And tormenting the boss is overrated.' I stated, saying the last part loud enough for Hikaru to hear me. He turned, a grin stretching his lips, and snorted.

'Says you!' he countered. 'It's usually your idea in the first place.' He told me, walking over to me with his hands in his pockets. 'So you've finally livened up then have you? Took you long enough.'

I smirked at him. 'What you talking about? Just because I can space out and look serious doesn't mean I'm any less lively.' I told him. Then I thought about it and cringed. Haruhi was razing her eyebrow at me. 'Ok, that came out wrong…'

'You got that right!' Hikaru snickered. I scoffed, looking away in mock annoyance before looking back at him out of the corner of my eye and smiling. Hikaru could always cheer me up. I saw Haruhi smile too and watched her as she walked away, taking the china atop her tray to a table on the other side of the room where Kyoya was sitting. She always smiled around him, always. No matter what he said or did, she would smile.

I looked at Hikaru. He was watching the pair as well. The look in his eyes was strangely sad but peaceful at the same time. It was as if he didn't like the face that Haruhi would never be his, but had accepted it. I felt myself smiling at my brother's humility. He had certainly matured since he had met Haruhi, even if he hadn't realised it.

**xxx…xxx**

The next day we got in at our normal time. Yuki was sitting in her seat, listening to Nattilia's chirpy conversation with some of the other girls in our class and Haruhi. Frowning, I put my bad on my desk and walked up to them, not looking at Yuki for too long but walking more towards Haruhi and Nattilia. Hikaru followed me.

'What's up?' I asked them as I came over. I saw Nattilia give me a warning look and nodded slightly; assuring her I wasn't going to talk to Yuki unless she spoke to me first.

'We wanted to know what a commoner's swimming pool is like.' One of the girls told me. She had bright green eyes and short brown hair. I frowned. Why would they want to know that? I asked them.

'Because that's where we're going for our class day trip next week.' Yuki answered quietly. I looked at her quickly, my eyes widening. She smiled at me nervously. After a few moments I smiled back at her.

'Is that so?' I asked her thoughtfully before putting my hands in my pockets and looking up at the ceiling. 'Sounds interesting, hu Hikaru?' I asked him.

'Hmm.' He answered thoughtfully, looking at Haruhi. 'Who decided that then?' he then asked.

'Apparently they put each of the class letters in a hat and pulled one out for each of the activities. They pulled out class A for the commoner's swimming pool so both class 2A and 3A will be joining us.' Nattilia explained. I looked down at her. She was smiling at me and, searching her eyes, I could see it was genuine. I grinned back at her.

This was going to be a fun and interesting day trip.

**oxo…oxo**

**So, what do you think? I'm pretty sure I have a good idea as to what may happen but I would like to hear your opinion. What do you want to happen to them at the pool? Could be interesting, couldn't it? ^_^**

**And yes, I put in a hint of Kyoya/Haruhi partnership. I like the couple and will continue to hint towards it. I hope you like that! Sorry to any Hikaru/Haruhi fans. It's only a background romance though so please bear with me. **

**Please review! Your opinions are loved and desired and welcomed and you can have another digital cookie! They taste as good as normal ones!**


	6. Chapter 6

**oxo****…oxo**

**Step inside the mind of Yuki.**

The days leading up to the day trip went by strangely smoothly. Kaoru would only talk to me if I spoke to him first and even then only fleetingly. But he would always smile, if a bit nervously. I suppose he was giving me time to heal and I was grateful for it. Haruhi was also watching me. I think he had worked it out. Or, at lest, something of it.

I was excited about going to a commoner's pool. It sounded like a lot of fun from what Haruhi had told us about them. I thought dimly about what costume I would wear. The trip was tomorrow and we were to meet outside the pool. I had looked the place up on the internet and it looked like a very big place. There were several slides and at least two different pools. It was so different from the usual private spas I was used to going to and to be honest it looked a lot more exciting. I always got so bored at our usual place.

I finally picked out a swimming costume I liked, a sky blue two piece suite with a tankini top. It was rather plain but it was comfortable, suited me and I liked it. I had only worn it once before due to my mothers want for me to wear the more 'sexy' costumes in my wardrobe. I put it on the side to put on under my clothes and proceeded to pack my bags.

The next morning, my limo arrived outside the pool and I got out to see most of the people already waiting outside with the teachers. Nattilia ran up to me happily. She was wearing blue jeans and a white t-shirt. I was wearing the same and we laughed slightly as we looked at each other.

I looked over at the group. Kaoru was standing by Hikaru and Haruhi as they waited for the rest to turn up. Hunni-sempi and Mori-sempi were standing near them talking with some of the other 3rd years and Tamaki-sempi was sitting in the corner moping. From what Nattilia always told me I guessed Haruhi had said something to make him become gloomy. A gaggle of girls surrounded him with smiles on their faces, each trying to be the one to cheer him up. There was no sign of the last host club member though and I thought it strange that he wasn't already here. We walked over to Haruhi and the others and I listened to Nattilia talk about her trouble at finding a swimming costume that would flatter her and impress Tamaki-sempi.

'I can't believe Kyoya's late!' Hikaru was saying, mirth evident in his voice.

'Yeah! Who knew he could be late? It's a little out of character, don't you think?' Kaoru answered in an identical voice of mirth. Haruhi frowned.

'Don't be mean you guys.' He told them. They looked at him with their identical grins.

'Oh…?' they asked in unison, their voices becoming menacingly cheeky. 'And why should we do that?' Haruhi looked at them, determination on his face but nerves in his eyes. Then, his eyes lit up and he grinned back before pointing behind them. The twins turned and gulped when they saw the dark aura coming from the host club's vice president.

'Oh, hello Kyoya-sempi.' They greeted nervously. He grunted slightly before walking towards the teachers. I giggled slightly at the relived looks on their faces. Kaoru looked at me before smiling.

'If everyone's here, please follow me.' One of the teachers called to us. We followed quickly behind, the three classes mingling into one as we walked through the doors to the lobby of the water park. Haruhi was looking around in amazement so for commoner's standards I guessed this was pretty grand. I looked at some of the others in my class who were eyeing the walls disdainfully. I smiled. We rich people lived quite sheltered lives.

The teachers checked us in and we split up, boys going one way and girls going the other. Apparently, we had this whole place to ourselves for the day and when we were all changed we went out into the open air pool. Most of the boys were already out there and splashing around in the water. I jumped into the cool water and swam around for a bit before coming back to the surface. It was wonderful.

The sun was shining and the water was refreshing. This is what it should be like all the time. Not like our normal spa days. I swam over to where Nattilia was. She had found the twins and Haruhi who was wearing a t-shirt with his trunks. Ii raised an eyebrow at him and he smiled.

'I get sunburned really easy.' He explained, pulling at the dark blue material. I smiled. That was understandable.

'That must be really bad in summer.' Nattilia said with a smile. I nodded in agreement. I was the same, but I had put some extra strong waterproof sun cream on that morning. I suppose Haruhi must not have that.

I looked up at the sky. It was such a nice day. Breathing in deeply I dived under the water. I felt so free with the stillness of the water surrounding me. I swam for as long as possible before I needed oxygen again. Breaking the surface of the pool I breathed in the fresh air deeply.

'This is the best.' I said to myself as I looked around at the other students splashing each other and laughing.

'It is, isn't it?' came a voice from behind me. I felt my eyes widen as I spun round to look at the speaker. It was Kaoru.

'Kaoru?' I asked. He looked at me with a quizzical look on his face.

'How can you tell us apart?' he asked. I frowned before turning away slightly.

'When you've studied someone as long as I have you tend to be able to tell them apart. I made it my mission to know.' I told him. He watched me with a blank expression. It's so hard to know what he's thinking sometimes; so unlike Hikaru whose emotions are always near the surface. Then he smiled.

'You want to ride the slide with me?' he asked, pointing at one of the more twisting waterslides. I squinted up at through the sun nervously. I had never been on a waterslide before and it looked slightly scary.

'I'm not sure… it's so big…' I answered in agitation. He grinned.

'Come on, it'll be fun. And I'll be right there with you, if that helps.' He added, looking away guiltily. I studied him for a moment before smiling slightly.

'Ok. But you owe me one. In fact, you owe me a lot.' I told him and watched him smile as he took my hand and led me up to the terrifying looking water slide. I sighed.

What had I gotten myself into this time?

**oxo…oxo**

**This one's slightly longer than the others… I hope you like it. I think its become lighter than it was before… ii hope that's not a bad thing… **

**Thank you for reading! Hope you continue to wait for the rest of my story! And please review! I love reviewers! **


	7. Chapter 7

**oxo…oxo**

**Step inside the mind of Kaoru.**

As I dragged Yuki behind me I mentally celebrated. She had seemed to forgive me. She may not trust me yet but it's a start. The water slide loomed above ua and the look on Yuki's face told me she was absolutely terrified. I smiled slightly. If she didn't like it I would feel so guilty but I knew from experience that it's the waiting that's the problem and thanked the teachers they had booked the whole place privately for the day and that there was only two other people before them in the cue. Those people happened to be Haruhi and Kyoya. It seemed they had snuck away from the rest of the group for a bit.

'Hey guys! What you doing here? Thought you didn't like water slides?' I asked them, a teasing grin on my face. Kyoya looked at me.

'Yes, that's what I thought but Haruhi practically dragged me here; something about feeling safer when I'm here or something.' He answered dully. I looked at Haruhi who was blushing and pretending not to be part of the conversation. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Yuki staring at Haruhi with wide eyes. Oh yeah, she thinks Haruhi's a boy.

'Next two please.' The life guard in charge of the slide said in a bored tone. He obviously didn't want to be here. Kyoya grabbed one of the rubber boats and sat on it cautiously. Haruhi sat next to him and I pushed, causing Haruhi to yell and grab Kyoya's arm in fright. I sniggered.

'Kaoru! That wasn't nice!' Yuki chided me with a frown. I shrugged.

'I thought it was funny.'

'Next.' The life guard told us.

I grabbed a boat and steadied it. Yuki looked at me nervously before getting in and settling herself against the rubber. I sat in next to her. She looked nervous so I took her hand before pushing on the side of the slide and starting our decent. She didn't scream but her grip on my hand became uncomfortably tight. I loved it. It was one of the best waterslides I had ever been on.

When we arrived at the bottom, Kyoya and Haruhi had gone. I looked at Yuki. Her eyes were wide in panic and her breath was shallow. I wondered if I had gone too far but slowly she began to smile.

'That was cool.' She told me, letting may had out of its vice grip and diving out of the rubber boat. I followed, stretching my hand to get the blood flow back into it before getting out of the pool behind her. She looked good in her sky blue swimming costume. It suited her and her white hair. She sat down on one of the deck chairs next to the pool and sighed.

'You ok?' I asked in concern. She seemed down.

'Yes. But I am not doing that again. I almost had a heart attack.' She answered. I was confused. I though she had said she liked it? I asked her so. 'Yes I did but only afterwards. I hated it during the actual thing; thought I was going to die.' She told me with a small smile.

'Sorry.'

She looked at me in surprise. 'It wasn't your fault. I said yes after all.' She reminded me. I smiled.

'Yes but I mean for everything. What happened that day and today. I never wanted to hurt you.'

'Then why did you do it?' she asked me, a frown coming to her face. I sighed deeply.

'I don't know. I guess it's just a habit we had trouble growing out of. When I got your letter it was just assumed between me and Hikaru that was what we were going to do. It sounds stupid I know and I'm really ashamed of it. But we did it and I can't deny that.' I told her, looking away as I finished and sighing again. I could feel her eyes on me. Her piercing eyes that had been narrowed into slits as she watched me, studying my every move.

'You're an idiot.' She told me lightly. I looked at her in surprise. She was smiling. A small smile, a sad smile but a smile none the less. 'But I forgive you.'

I kept looking at her for a moment, eyes probably filled with shock, before I smiled too. 'Thank you.' I said.

'But don't expect me to trust you.' She warned me, her eyes narrowing again. I nodded quickly, a serious expression on my face.

'Of course.' I agreed. 'But do you trust me enough to buy you a drink?' I asked her, the serious expression still on my face as I began to joke. Yuki smiled.

'Yes, I think I could do that.' She answered shyly. I grinned before running off to the little drinks shop to get her a drink, filled with the relief that had come with her forgiveness.

**oxo…oxo**

**Hope you like it! And please review! Oh, and I need some ideas so if anyone has any please tell me! **

**Review please! Reviewers make my day!**


	8. Chapter 8

**oxo****…oxo**

**Step inside the mind of Kaoru****.**

I sipped from the drinks can I had bought. It was good to be sitting with Yuki like this, not having to worry as much about offending her. It felt so nice. 'What do you suppose happened to Hikaru and Nattilia?' She asked me quietly, sipping from her can.

'I don't know.' I replied thoughtfully. 'The last time I saw them they were chatting with Haruhi. That was just after you left…But they can't be talking to Haruhi anymore because she- he's with Kyoya.' I corrected myself quickly but Yuki was looking at me thoughtfully, still drinking her drink. 'They must be somewhere together…' I finished nervously. Yuki continued to look at me for a moment before putting her drink down.

'Haruhi's a girl, isn't she?' she asked and I let out a breath before nodding. There was no point hiding it from her. I had made my mistake and now I had to pay for it. I wasn't going to lie to her, not now.

'Yes… but please don't tell anyone.' I told her. She smiled slightly.

'Don't worry.' She assured me. 'I won't.' I smiled. I didn't think she would but I had to tell her.

'Thanks.'

Yuki nodded. 'So is that the real reason she's wearing that top? I mean, if she was a guy she'd wear white because it reflects the sun right, not dark blue. But white becomes a bit see through…' she asked, picking her drink back up again. I nodded. It was quite clever of her to have worked it out. But then, so had Hikaru and I.

'What do you want to do next?' I asked her, looking around the pool at our classmates. Tamaki had managed to find Haruhi and Kyoya. They had a group of girls around them trying to get their attention. Hunni and Mori were up to there usual mucking around. Hunni was showing off a bit for the ladies sakes. Some 1st years had come by to chat to them. Hikaru was with Nattilia. They seemed to be happy and that made me smile. I had told my idiot brother to apologize to the girl. I guess he must have because they were now splashing each other playfully.

'Why don't we swim for a bit?' Yuki suggested. I smiled. It sounded good and I told her so. After finishing our drinks we jumped back into the pool and explored it. It was a rather big pool with lots of different nooks and cranny's and little places to explore. It was quite amazing that a commoner pool could be this intricate. I had always imagined just a square pool, nothing special but this was different. Something told me it was on the high end of the commoner budget and more of a water park than swimming pool, but still, it was wonderful.

'I'm going to have to come here again!' I said happily as the teachers told us we had to get out. Yuki nodded in agreement, a happy smile on her face as she pulled herself out of the water. 'I'll see you out the front.' I told her as we went back into the changing rooms. She nodded again and I smiled.

Haruhi and Hikaru were already in there when I got in but Haruhi was quick to grab a changing room after seeing a few boys already start to undress. I figured it would scar her for a lifetime. I grinned at Hikaru and he grinned back, obviously thinking the same as me. After changing we met the girls and teachers outside where the adults said a few words and let us go. We all walked down to the car park where several limos sat waiting. Pedestrians were goggling them as they walked by and children laughed at the sight.

I walked with Yuki towards the limos, both looking around to see where ours were. I spotted mine at the back of the group, waiting patiently in one of the buss spaces. 'Can you see yours?' I asked, looking at the girl next to me who was searching the crowd frantically. She shook her head before pulling out her phone and ringing someone.

'Evan?' she asked into the phone. I listened intently to her side of the conversation. 'I thought you were picking me up? What? Oh yeah… no, no that's ok. I'll get someone else to pick me up. Ok, have a good evening! Bye.' She put the phone down with a sigh. I raised an eyebrow in question. 'My shofer has the afternoon off for his daughter's birthday party and I forgot. He assumed I'd gotten other arrangements so neglected to remind me.' She explained and I nodded slowly. It made sense.

'do you need a lift? We can take you.' Hikaru offered. He and Haruhi were standing next to me and had been listening as well.

'Are you sure?' she asked, worried. 'I can find someone else if it's too much of a problem.' She said, obviously not wanting to be a nuisance.

'Nah, its fine.' I told her. 'We're taking Haruhi too so its no trouble.' I smiled at her and she smiled back, nodding.

'Thanks.'

'No problem.' I assured her before leading her over to our limo.

**oxo…oxo**

**I cant believe how fast I'm writing this! I've done like 4 chapters in one afternoon! I suppose you've just got to be in the mood… I hope you enjoy it and that it hasn't suffered from my quick writing. Love to hear your ideas!**

**More digital cookies for my reviewers! There cookielishious! **


	9. Chapter 9

**oxo****…oxo**

**Step inside the mind of Yuki.**

I was glad that Kaoru and I had made up. I felt so much better knowing the reason he done what he had. I wondered whether I'd ever be able to trust him though. He had expected it. I had known he would. Who wouldn't expect me not to trust them after doing something like that?

He was sweet really. I knew that. After all I was sitting in his limo being taken home. I looked at him. He was staring out the window, his eyes glazed over. He seemed to be thinking about something. I wondered if he was always like this in the car. Hikaru was quite quiet too and Haruhi was searching outside the other window. I had been told we were going to hers first as it was closer and my hose was closer to theirs. This made sense to me but somehow seemed too sensible for the twins. I wondered if it had been their idea or Haruhi's.

It didn't take us long to drop Haruhi off and get to my house. Kaoru escorted me to the door in a very gentlemanly fashion, putting his arm through mine with a small smile. I smiled back at him. He was handsome. And smart. And sweet. But I still didn't want to trust him. It felt to early for that and I was afraid of being hurt again.

'My lady.' Kaoru said, bowing smartly as he let go of my arm.

'Thank you fine sir.' I replied, playing along slightly. He grinned up at me before straightening.

'See you tomorrow.' He promised before turning and walking back to his car. I waved them off as the limo drove away and then opened to door and stepped inside.

**xxx…xxx**

The next day I decided to go to the host club. I wanted to give it another shot and asked Nattilia if she would accompany me on the Hittachin table for the afternoon. She agreed and I went with her to the 3rd music room after school. It was a full as I remember it to be and still as daunting. When Tamaki-sempi saw us enter he smiled, thinking we were coming to us. I giggled slightly at his shocked expression as his number 1 customer walked over to the twins. The pair smiled when they saw us.

'Well this is unexpected.' Hikaru told us with a smile. 'We never thought you lovely ladies would come and see us _here_.' I smiled at the flattery. They weren't exactly subtle but they were less demanding than their king. Kaoru was just looking at us in surprise as we sat down. We were their only guests at the moment, something I was very happy about.

'Well, last time Yuki was here she didn't like it very much. This time she decided to see you pair to see whether you can get her interested in it again. She was too scared to come alone so she asked me to come too.' Nattilia explained. I felt myself go red under the twins embarrassing stares. I knew they thought the fact that I was scared of seeing them alone a somewhat strange and surprising thing. I wished I had never come here.

'Well, I'm glad you're here. You won't be wanting the brotherly love part of our hosting will you?' Kaoru asked and I looked up at him. He had a strange expression on his face that I couldn't decide on. I looked at him in confusion.

'Brotherly love side?' I asked slowly, trying to work it out in my head.

'They pretend to have a gay relationship basically. Its part of their 'package'' Haruhi said from behind me. 'I don't get why it's so popular really…'

I looked back at them in question. They shrugged. I shook my head slightly. 'No thanks. A chat would be nice though.' I told them carefully.

'Would you like tea?' Hikaru asked. We nodded and he poured us each tea and passed them to us carefully. 'So, what would you like to talk about?'

The afternoon continued like that for the rest of the hosting hours. By the end, Nattilia seemed to be having a separate conversation with Hikaru to my conversation with Kaoru. I didn't mind though. In fact, I preferred it. It was as if we had been friends our whole lives. We spoke about everything and anything. By the end I knew more about Kaoru than I could ever have hoped to know by just studying him. Things like his favorite colour, book and memory. What he liked and disliked about his life. Foods he had eaten and places he had been. It was a very good afternoon.

'I hope you come and see us again.' Kaoru told me, smiling as he got up from the table at the end of host club hours. I nodded. I hoped so to. It was just weather or not I had the guts. I smiled at him before me and Nattilia walked out of those huge double doors into the corridor.

**oxo…oxo**

**I hope your enjoying this story. I'm not really sure how long to make it… short or long? Tell me what you think. **

**Love to all my reviewers! Please review! **


	10. Chapter 10

**oxo…oxo**

**Step inside the mind of Kaoru.**

'You stole my customer!' The boss yelled at us hysterically after all the girls had gone. We shrugged.

'We didn't steal her boss; she decided to come to us on her own.' We told him, our voices synced to perfect unison. Even I didn't know how we did it. It just seemed to happen. At first it was kind of freaky but it didn't take long before we stared to use it to our advantage. The boss growled at us angrily.

'Lies! I saw you! I saw you at the pool! You were hanging out with her then too!' the blonde boy continued yelling at us, increasing in fury as he went on. 'You must have brainwashed her! You did, didn't you? You brainwashed her! Why else would she go to you?' he concluded, his voice turning to despair.

'No boss, we didn't brainwash her.' I told him in exasperation.

'Yeah, who do you think we are?' Hikaru asked him. Tamaki gave us a look that told us we didn't want to know. Sighing, I walked away. Hikaru followed me and we sat down on one of the sofas, ignoring the still screaming blonde.

I was quite pleased that Yuki had requested us. It meant I could spend more time with her and I liked it. I felt we were becoming good friends, or at least as good as you can get with the trust issues we have. I wondered whether she felt the same way. She obviously liked me or she wouldn't have started coming to the host club, but how much? Did she like me as much as I liked her?

I shook my head to clear it. Where had that thought come from? How much did I like her? _For gods sake!_ I thought angrily. It was stupid to be thinking like that. She was just a friend that I was trying to regain trust between, right? I pulled my fingers through my hair tiredly and sighed.

'Kao-chan?' a voice asked from behind me. I turned to look at him with Hikaru following my gaze.

'Hello Hunni-sempi.' I greeted the older boy with a nod. He looked worried. Oh dear. I guess I was being more obvious than I thought. First Haruhi and now Hunni-sempi? I bet Mori-sempi knew something was up as well. He always knew what Hunni did. At the moment though the taller boy was sitting with Haruhi and Kyoya, watching the boss as the blonde concocted another stupid plot to get Nattilia back. Every now and again though he would glance over to where I, Hikaru and Hunni were.

'You ok? Do you want some cake?' Hunni asked me with narrowed eyes. He clutched Usa-chan to his chest tightly, a sign he was worried. I smiled at him.

'No, I'm ok Hunni-sempi.' I told him. Hikaru watched us quietly, not interrupting like he usually would. Hunni smiled slightly before nodding and running back to where Mori was sitting and bounding into his lap. After watching him go I exchanged a look with Hikaru. His face was serious. I sighed again.

'Are you sure your ok?' Hikaru asked me cautiously. 'You have been sighing allot lately…'

'The first sign of love!' a female voice resounded throughout the room and a rumbling could be felt underneath. I groaned. I could be doing without renege right now. Slowly, the rig began to spin and the laughing silhouette of renege could be seen on top. When it stopped, a spotlight lit her up. I rubbed my temples as she looked at me. Oh crap.

'Everyone knows that sighing allot is the first sign of love!' she cried happily. 'So, who's the lucky girl hu Kaoru?' she asked me with wide eyes. I gulped. Everyone's eyes were on me. I could feel them burning into my skin. I gathered my courage and went on the defensive.

'What's it to you otaku?' I asked her harshly. She frowned, drawing back with her arms folded across her chest. She scrutinised me with her eyes, looking me up and down and making me feel very self-conscious.

'Well you're not going to win anyone's heart with an attitude like that.' She told me bluntly. I scowled at her and got up from the sofa.

'Who says I'm trying to win someone's heart?' I asked her. She grinned mischievously.

'I'm in your class remember. I've seen who you like. A certain girl near the back who you can't keep your eyes off of…' she explained in a sing song voice. I could feel myself blushing and could see Hikaru's eyes widening next to me.

'That's not true! I don't like Yuki!' I gasped. I couldn't believe her! She was trying to make the whole club think I loved Yuki! Renege's eyes looked at me in a way that said _oh yeah, of course. _I frowned and she smirked. I growled at her angrily before grabbing my bag off the table and storming out the room with Hikaru following hurriedly after me. But when I opened the door I stopped in shock. Yuki was standing outside the door, her eyes widened in shock and hurt. Crap.

'Yuki!' I exclaimed, forgetting my anger at the look on the girls face.

**oxo…oxo**

**Oh…. Ok. Kaoru got angry! I didn't know I was going to make that happen… I think it fits though… and then the last little bit! I actually added that on after writing. I had previously written it so that Kaoru just stormed out but after thinking about it this seemed to make more sense to me…**

**I hope you liked it and didn't mind the cliff hanger too much.**

**And I would like to say a special thanks to GodsLilBookWorm, AnimeAiedail and Scheree. thank you for reading my story and reviewing it from the start! **

**Please review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**oxo****…oxo**

**Step inside the mind of Yuki.**

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. It had happened again. Once again I had trusted him and once again it had ended in tears. I could see in his eyes the regret. He knew what he had done but it was too late.

'Yuki.' He said softly, his hand reaching out to me. I backed away and he froze.

'No, Kaoru. Just leave me alone.' I told him quietly, my voice shaking with the emotions inside. Looking at Hikaru briefly and seeing the shocked and horrified look on his face, I ran. I always run.

I had come back to tell him something that I had decided after the club. Something that couldn't wait until the next day. I wanted to tell him I trusted him again. I was sure I could, sure of it. But then I had heard the conversation and his yell.

'_I'm in your class remember. I've seen who you like. A certain girl near the back who you can't keep your eyes off of…'__ renege teased in a singsong voice._

'_That's not true! I don't like Yuki!'_

I suppose I had known it really. It wouldn't have lasted; it was too good to be true. It would have been something he did or something I did but it would have happened eventually. Something always did.

But I didn't hate him for it, not even a little bit. I liked him too much to hate him. Maybe even loved him. But it didn't matter. He didn't even like me. I could feel the tears falling and knew I wasn't going to make it to the car. So I slipped into the girl's bathroom just down the hall and slumped against the wall. I could feel the sobs racking my body. I felt so stupid, getting so worked up over something as stupid as this. But it was no use. The tears wouldn't stop. Not for me, not for anything.

A broken heart was my only company now.

**xxx…xxx**

It felt like hours before the bathroom door opened but it must have only been half an hour or so. I looked up sharply as I saw a pair of boy's shoes walking towards me but relaxed when I saw Haruhi. Her expression was tight with worry and her eyes were filled with pity.

I looked back down again as she approached, slightly ashamed at what I probably looked like. She had probably seen the whole thing.

'Yuki.' she said to me softly, her voice holding a hint of exasperation. I looked up again but didn't meet her eyes as she bent down to my height on the bathroom floor. Slowly, she wiped my face with the sleeve of her blazer.

'Haruhi?' I asked her quietly, recovering from my tears long enough to meet the other girls eyes. She smiled and looked at me in question. The look made me tear up again and I threw myself gratefully into her arms, sobbing into her warm blazer. I was glad she was here. It felt so much better with someone with me. I felt I could cry as much as I wanted as Haruhi rocked me gently in her arms and made shushing sounds every other minute.

I had soon cried myself dry but stayed in her arms as I slowly found myself falling into the darkness of a peaceful sleep.

**oxo…oxo**

**This is a bit shorter than some of the others but I felt that making it longer would ruin it… besides; I play this by instinct and whatever happens to go when I write it. I seem to be having bursts of inspiration and when I've started its hard to stop!**

**Thank you for reading and please review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**oxo…oxo**

**Step inside the mind of Kaoru.**

Why is it that every time something goes right in my life I have to put my stupid foot in it?

Stupid Renege. Stupid me. Stupid karma. Stupid everything. After Yuki had run away I had just stood there, frozen and unbelieving. But then, I shook myself out of it and went to run after her but was stopped by a soft hand on my arm. Looking down I saw Haruhi, her chocolate coloured eyes staring down the corridor.

'Haruhi?' I had asked her. The brunette had looked up at me with hard eyes.

'She knows I'm a girl right?' she had asked me. I had nodded. 'Then let me go to her. She will be too upset to talk to you at the moment I think…' she had said to me before she tore off down the hallway faster than I had ever seen her run before.

I watched her go sadly. What had I done now? Walking back into the club room I collapsed into a chair. Thankfully, Renege had gone. She had obviously decided it best to leave me alone. It was probably a good thing though I knew it wasn't her fault really. She couldn't have known that Yuki was behind the door.

The host club was silent, watching me self destruct with worried eyes. I looked up at them then at Hikaru who was still staring at me in horror. I closed my eyes. I couldn't take this anymore. I needed to leave.

Getting up again I walked briskly to the door and out into the hallway. This time Hikaru didn't follow me. In some ways I was glad though in others I was disappointed. I needed company but I needed to be alone. I needed someone to talk to but I needed silence at the same time. It was infuriating.

What was I going to do now? After this I _knew_ she would never trust me again. She would be a fool to do so. And yet I found tears falling from his eyes at the thought. I despaired at not being able to talk to her anymore. Silently, I cursed myself for thinking such things. Its not liked I loved her or anything right? I'd be able to live with out her right? Like before? As if nothing had happened?

_Don't kid yourself Kaoru. It's the only one you are kidding._ I told myself sadly. I'd never be able to go back the way things used to be. I liked her too much, love or not. She was a good friend of mine and I didn't want to let her go.

I wiped my eyes in annoyance. I wouldn't let myself cry anymore. It wasn't going to help. I could only hope that Sunday would give her the time to think about things and that she would be ready to talk to me on the Monday.

Maybe.

It was a big maybe though. I couldn't have afforded making her distrust me again at such an early stage. I sighed as I walked towards the limo. Getting inside I rested my head against the back of the seat I groaned.

'No Hikaru sir?' the driver asked me and I looked up.

'He might be coming. Give me a sec.' I told him before getting my phone out and texting my brother.

_Are you coming? Or are you getting a lift with someone?_

I asked him. A few minutes later I got the reply.

_I'm getting a ride with the boss._

'We can go.' I told the driver who pulled away immediately. I stared out of the window in thought. It was always so soothing to look out of the window like this and just think. I loved it. It was so relaxing and had soon clamed my mind. I watched the scenery as it passed me by, all a blur of colour and shape.

I sighed. I suppose the world can't be perfect. Some will be good and others bad. I would have to try and embrace the good things and learn from the bad. The only thing I could hope for now is that Yuki would trust be again and that something good may come from our relationship.

Whether it be just friendship or love.

**oxo…oxo**

**I hope you enjoyed this! Now comes the hard part… I have to figure out what to do! Oh no! -_-'**

**Please review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**oxo****…oxo**

**Step inside the mind of Yuki.**

I don't know how long I was crying in the bathroom. I felt so stupid. I had trusted him and he had let me down. Haruhi cradled me motherly, hushing my tears in a soft voice. It took the edge away and suddenly I was glad Haruhi was there to support me. It was if she ha done it before. After a while the tears stopped and I pulled away from her, drying my eyes with my sleeves.

'Thank you Haruhi.' I told the girl beside me. She smiled.

'Your welcome.' Was her reply. I looked up at her, willing myself to smile. I imagined the smile looked painful. It felt painful. I saw Haruhi's smile fade, confirming what I had already known. Slowly, the brunette stood up before offering her hand to me and helping me to my feet. I felt dizzy.

'Hey, what do you think of coming to my house for a sleepover tonight? Then we can do something together tomorrow.' Haruhi suggested softly. I looked at her in surprise.

'Are you sure…?' I asked her hesitantly. I had never been to a sleepover before and I didn't want to be a bother. Haruhi smiled assuringly.

'It's no problem. In fact I'm sure dad would love to have you.' She told me, her happiness showing threw her voice. I felt myself smiling. It was a small one but a real one. Haruhi's smile widened and she motioned to the door. I walked out of it and into the hallway, waiting for Haruhi to appear next to me before continuing to the front gate.

Thankfully, my limo was still waiting for me. I had told Evan I would be late but he must have been waiting for a while. He looked bored. I knocked hesitantly on the glass and smiled slightly as he jumped. With a sheepish look on his face, he rolled down the window.

'Sorry miss. Where would you like to go?' he asked, eyeing Haruhi behind me.

'I'm going to be staying at my friends for the night. Could you take us to hers please?' I asked and he nodded. Saying nothing about the fact that Haruhi was wearing a boy's uniform. I smiled, glad he trusted me before opening the car door and allowing Haruhi to get in before me. She told Evan her address and the car slid easily away from the curb.

It wasn't long before we arrived. Haruhi got out immediately but I stayed to say goodbye before getting out and following Haruhi up the stairs. Watching Evan drive away, I heard the lock click and followed my friend inside. It was a small apartment but it was cozy. Taking my shoes off I walked in.

'It's nice.' I told her with as much of a smile as I could muster. She smiled back at me before walking into the kitchen.

'Do you want any tea?' she asked me. I nodded slightly and she set around making it. 'I guess my dad isn't back yet… I think he's got the evening shift today so we have the place to ourselves tonight.' She told me as I sat on the floor of her living room. The tea she made was lovely. It seemed to wash everything away, if only for a moment.

'So what do you want to do? We could watch some films or something.' Haruhi suggested, stirring her tea rhythmically. I nodded slowly. Suddenly I pulled out my phone, texting furiously. I had forgotten to tell my mum I wouldn't be home. She would be furious if I just disappeared for the night. Haruhi raised her eyebrow at me and I stopped long enough to explain. When she understood she smiled, nodding silently with a knowing look in her eyes and I continued texting.

When I was finished we started looking at films. She had a wide range of them ranging from chick flicks to horrors. We chose a good action film and put it on. It was dark by the time it had finished and we decided it was probably time to go to bed. Haruhi lent me some of her own pajamas, which thankfully fit rather well, and we set up a makeshift bed in her room.

Lying there in that room, covered in duvets and blankets, I felt happy. It was strange. I felt like I could talk about anything here and not be worried about it. It was a good feeling. Haruhi seemed to be thinking on the same lines as me as we were soon talking boys.

'You really like Kaoru don't you.' She stated softly. I sighed.

'Yeah. For a long time too. At first I thought it just curiosity. I mean, the challenge of telling the twins apart was just too much to resist. But as I watched them I began to like them and dislike them in so many different ways. They were so rude to people and yet so sweet and kind to each other. It didn't make sense to me and it made me even more curious. After a time I began to wish that they, mainly Kaoru I'll admit, were as sweet to me as they were to each other.' I told her. It was the first time I had ever voiced my feelings. It felt as if some huge weight had lifted from my shoulders and I felt myself smiling.

'Yeah?' Haruhi asked curiously. 'Do you love him?'

I looked at her in surprise before sighing and staring back up at the sealing. 'Yes. I suppose I do.'

**oxo…oxo**

**Ok so that's chapter 13 done. I think I'm going to incorporate more Haruhi/Kyoya stuff in from now on… and don't worry, I haven't forgotten about Nattilia. She's still there she just doesn't know about any of it yet. Or Haruhi's femminity which means she can't go with them to wherever I decide they decide to go tomorrow…**

**Please review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**oxo****…oxo**

**Step inside the mind of Yuki.**

_I walked slowly through the corridors of Ouran academy with my bag in my hand. It was after school and I was traveling towards the third music room with Nattilia chattering happily beside me. I laughed at something she said and pushed open the wide doors of the host club. It was empty. _

_I looked around in confusion. What was going on? I turned to ask Nattilia and felt my eyes widen when I saw she was no longer beside me. I looked down the corridors. No one. I was sure the corridor was packed only a few moments before. I frowned then stared as I heard a voice behind me._

'_Yuki?'_

_It was Kaoru. His eyes looked dead and he was glaring at me with a strange look of hatred twisting his features. I backed away from his look with wide eyes but he followed me, taking a step forward for every one I took back. I was scared. What was going on?_

'_Leave this place!' the twin shouted harshly. 'You're not welcome here anymore! You're not wanted! I don't like you!' he cried. I flinched with his every word. He sneered bitterly. I shivered. This couldn't be happening, it couldn't… _

'_I hate you!'_

_My eyes widened as far as they could go and I felt tears spill from my eyes. My heart was breaking; the shattered pieced ripping their way out of my chest in the most painful way possible._

'_Yuki! Yuki!'_

My eyes flew open suddenly. Haruhi was looking at me with a worried expression and I struggled to regain my memory. Where was I? Why was I here? Then I remembered and I groaned. I was dripping with sweat from the dream. Yesterday had effected me more that I had thought.

'Are you ok Yuki?' Haruhi asked me quietly. I nodded before sitting up. Light streamed in through the window and I could hear birds chirping outside. Sighing, I stood.

'Could I have a shower?' I asked the brunette shyly. I didn't like asking for things in other peoples houses. Haruhi smiled.

'Sure. It's just through there. I'll get you a towel.' She told me before rushing off to get me a towel. I wandered slowly into the bathroom, the dream still plaguing me. I knew it was a dream. Knew it wasn't real. So why did it bother me so much?

After getting a towel, I showered. I could feel the warm water rejuvenating me. It was refreshing. I felt worriless and free. As well as being clean. I didn't take a long shower. I didn't want to use to much warm water. When I got out I wrapped the towel around me and walked across the corridor into Haruhi's room where there was some clothes laid out on the bed. Guessing they were for me, I changed and made my way into the living room.

Sitting at the table were Haruhi and a strange man I guessed was her father. He had long red hair and looked rather bedraggled. When Haruhi saw me she smiled.

'Dad, this is Yuki. Sorry I didn't ask but she needed to come over really. Haruhi explained to her dad. The man smiled at me.

'That's ok dear. You can call me Ranka.' He told me, smiling happily up at me. I felt myself smiling back.

'It's nice to meet you. Sorry for any inconvenience.' I replied nervously. Ranka waved his hand dismissively.

'It's no trouble. Now have breakfast and go do whatever it is girls do.' He told us. So we did and were soon walking around town. I looked around curiously. Everything was so interesting on the high street. There were so many things to look at. It wasn't the same when you just walked in, had yourself measured, gave a design and walked back out again.

After a while of just walking around, I decided to go back to a topic that was risky. 'We were talking about boys last night right?' I asked Haruhi. She looked at me wearily, wondering where I was going. 'Well, I told you all about my love life but I didn't hear anything about yours.' I continued slyly. Haruhi blushed.

'So?' she asked quietly, avoiding my eyes.

'So, Kyoya-sempi. Spill.' I told her, feeling slightly pleased with myself as I saw her blush deepen. It wasn't often you saw Haruhi Fujioka blush.

'What about him?' Haruhi asked nervously, obviously trying to stay calm. I raised an eyebrow. She looked away.

'Like the fact that you _like _him.' I told her. Hearing her sigh I chuckled slightly.

'Ok, you got me. But don't say anything to anyone. I'm sure he doesn't like me that way.' She admitted. I raised my other eyebrow but remained silent. I doubted that. We walked a little further up the street before Haruhi spoke again. She sounded nervous, as if she wasn't sure the topic was safe.

'But you know, Kaoru didn't mean what he said. He was angry and confused. You may not accept it at first but at least give him another chance.'

I didn't look at her but sighed, looking up at the swirling clouds. I didn't know what to think anymore.

**oxo…oxo**

***sigh***

**I seem to be writing that word allot these days… you think I'd be able to type it first time by now… ^_^'**

**Please review!**


	15. Chapter 15

**oxo…oxo**

**Step inside the mind of Kaoru.**

God I'm such an idiot.

And as if I didn't know that already, Hikaru keeps reminding me. Every time I sigh or look depressed I hear him mumble 'idiot' without him even looking up at me so I can glare at him. My dagger stare has been wasted so many times.

Monday morning. I was, naturally, peeing myself. I wasn't sure I'd be able to face Yuki and then Nattilia would kill me anyway. Though that may have helped my cause I'm sure it would've done more harm than good at this point… I'm such a weenie.

Walking into the classroom with doom written across my face and a smirking Hikaru at my side, I looked around. Yuki was talking to Haruhi and Nattilia. Well, Nattilia and Haruhi were talking and Yuki was listening with what looked like a forced smile on her face. I felt myself grimace. Then Hikaru was pushing me roughly through the door, complaining loudly at my lack of movement.

That caught their attention. I saw Nattilia's eyes narrow as she set about glaring at me. Yuki looked up slightly before looking quickly away. It tore me apart.

'Idiot.' Hikaru reminded me again and I frowned, turning to glare at him only to find he was gone from behind me. Looking around, I saw him at his desk. Grinding my teeth in annoyance, I followed him and sat in my own seat.

'You know you really need to get your feelings in order.' Said a female voice from behind me. Frowning I turned to look at a very serious looking Renege.

'I can't be doing with you right now.' I told her tiredly before turning back to the front. I heard her sigh behind me.

'I'm sorry Kaoru. I didn't realise she was there or I never would have pushed you.' She told me quietly. I turned to look at her again. She looked so sincere and sounded it too. She looked like the guilt was tearing her up inside. I wondered whether that had been what I had looked like the first time I had let Yuki down. I wondered if this was what I looked like now.

'I know Renege.' I told her softly, turning back to the board as the teacher came in. 'I understand.'

**xxx…xxx**

At lunchtime that Monday, Haruhi pulled me aside to talk.

'She really likes you, you know.' She told me. It didn't take a genius to realise who she was talking about. I hung my head shamefully.

'I know. I really like her to.' I told her. 'But I didn't mean what I said. I just… said it.' I told her and she nodded.

'But _how much_ do you like her?' she asked me, her deep brown eyes piecing into my own. I looked down.

'I don't know…' I replied truthfully. I really didn't. It sounded stupid even to me but I still didn't. I had been thinking about it since that day but I hadn't managed to work it out yet. Did I like her as a friend, or was there something more?

'Do you love her?' Haruhi asked bluntly, shocking me so much I looked back up at her with wide eyes.

'W-what?' I stammered. It surprised me how much I had been affected by this question. It also baffled me. Haruhi was not so oblivious with love things. Maybe it was falling in love herself that had made her more aware.

'Do you love her?' the brunette repeated. I just stared at her. Her brown eyes glittered with a knowledge I didn't have. She knew something I didn't about myself and it made me uncomfortable. It must have showed on my face as Haruhi smiled.

'Think about it.' She told me before walking away. I watched her go with my hands stuffed roughly into my trouser pockets. She made an effect, that girl. A serious effect.

I thought about what she had said. Love? Was this feeling that I felt around Yuki love? Or was it some kind of other feeling? And if it was love, was it a romantic love? Or was it sibling love?

Love?

Love.

Did I love Yuki?

**oxo…oxo**

**So. What do you think? I hope you still like it and hope I'm not boring you now or anything… ^_^ **

**To the next chapter!**

**Please review!**


	16. Chapter 16

**oxo…oxo**

**Step inside the mind of Kaoru.**

'What did you do this time idiot?' Nattilia asked me as she walked up behind me. I jumped slightly, not expecting her to be behind me. We were in the garden, the same place as our last talk. But this time she didn't sound angry. Just exasperated. I turned to look at her sheepishly before telling her the story. She sighed.

'Oh Kaoru you _are_ and idiot.' She told me bluntly. I scoffed.

'But you knew that, right?' I asked her dryly. She smiled slightly.

'Yes, but I didn't think you were such an idiot as to hurt her _twice_.' She explained; mirth evident in her voice as she stated my stupidity. I looked away as she sat beside me. I was shocked though when she put an arm around me. I looked at her to find she was looking away.

'Tell me.' She started, her voice tired. 'Honestly and truly, do you care about Yuki?' she asked. Then she looked at me and I nodded. 'Good. And how much do you like her? As a friend? As a sister? Or as a lover?' she then asked me, her eyes looking at me through the corners. I looked at her blankly and wondered dryly if she and Haruhi had teamed up as of late.

'I don't know…' I told her only to find my head feeling sore. Rubbing the back of my head from where Nattilia had hit it, I looked at her. She seemed to be struggling to control herself as her eyes were closed and her hand was in a fist. Though that could be from the hit.

'I don't know is not an answer to this question.' She told me irritably. I gulped. 'How much do you like her?'

I thought abut it, not wanting to be hit again. How much _did_ I like Yuki? Well I defiantly thought of her as a friend. But was there anything more? I though about the day she gave me the letter and what I had felt when she was running away. What had I felt at the pool? When she had been holding my hand on the side. Crushing it was more accurate. I found myself smiling at the memory.

I liked her. I liked her a lot. But could I call it love? I thought about the time she had come to the club, all the time we had spent together in class. Then I imagined her face when she had been behind the door. She had looked heart broken, crushed. A wave of pain flooded me at the memory. It was so strong I felt tears in the corners of my eyes.

I never wanted to see her like that again. Never. I would do anything to make her happy. Anything. I thought about that emotion. Such a strong emotion. Was it love? I couldn't find anything else too call it. I knew what brotherly love felt like. The protection and pain in that was nowhere near as strong as this feeling.

I looked back at Nattilia with a small smiled. She smiled back.

'So?' she asked me and I frowned as I realised I would have to say it allowed. It was one thing to admit it in your head but another to say it. I swallowed deeply before breathing in.

'I think I love her.' I said. There. I had said it. I let out a large breath of air and smiled.

'You only think?' Nattilia asked me dully. I frowned at her and she grinned. 'I'm kidding. I understand. As long as you're sure that's what you think. I don't want you breaking her heart again.' She told me seriously. I nodded defiantly and she got up. 'Come on. Yuki's in the classroom. Go to her. This could be your lucky day.' She told me with a grin. I smiled nodding at her before begging to run off in the direction of the classroom. Stopping suddenly, I turned to her.

'Thank you Nattilia.' I told her gratefully. She nodded before shooing me quickly away, but not before I saw Haruhi come out of the bushes to watch me run off, a smile on her face.

**oxo…oxo**

**Well. It looks like this story may be coming to a close… I'm not sure as I'm writing this right now what will happen next chapter but there's a good chance it could be the last… oh no! And YES! At the same time -_-'**

**Please review!**


	17. Chapter 17

**oxo…oxo**

**Step inside the mind of Yuki.**

As I sat staring at the wall I wondered what exactly had gone wrong in my life. It was stupid. This was the place it had all begun. In the classroom. Alone. It seemed to me to be the one place I could think without any problems. I knew it sounded strange but it was true.

After all, this had been the place I'd admitted I liked Kaoru. I may have told Nattilia it was just an experiment but we had both known the truth. I was where I had written the letter.

I sighed, deep in thought. I wished Kaoru were here. I didn't care how much he had hut me, how much I had cried over him. If anything it had made my feelings stronger. But I knew he wouldn't come. Why would he? He didn't know where I was. Didn't know I was waiting.

But why was I waiting? Nattilia had told me to stay here; winked at me before rushing out of the room. I had heard her yelling at people that there was a host club something or other going on in the dining hall. That had gotten everyone moving, all eager to see what the famous boys were up to. I had sat and waited. I was still waiting, not knowing what for. Maybe Nattilia had done something to try and cheer me up. Like a giant ice cream or something. It was more her style than simple 'cheer up' cards.

Suddenly I heard running footsteps coming closer and I looked up from where I was seated on the window sill. I felt my eyes widen and my heart quicken as I saw Kaoru run into the door way, out of breath and hanging onto the doorway. I stared at him in shock and he stared back, a small, tentative smile growing on his face.

Then, he pushed himself off the doorway and began walking quickly over to me. I was still too shocked to do anything, not even think.

'Yuki.' He said softly and I flinched, remembering my dream. But his voice was nothing like in the dream. Gone were the harsh tones of that night to be replaced with a softer tone, filled with something I hadn't heard in his voice before. He had paused, noticing my flinch and the smile was gone. I looked at him. I didn't know what my eyes looked like but he moved forward again, slower this time.

'Kaoru?' I asked him nervously, still recovering from the shock of his initial arrival. I saw his lips curl into his tentative smile once more and found my own lips curling, if only slightly.

When he reached me I felt my heart skip. His eyes were gorgeous, like usual, only something made them seem different somehow, deeper and lovelier than I had ever seen anyone's eyes before. It made me reach out to him and place a hand on his cheek. To him it must have seemed like I was checking he was really there. My eyes were wide and my face was probably contorted in shock and growing fear.

What was I doing? He didn't like me, remember. He probably just felt guilty I'd heard his conversation. I pulled my hand away and tore my eyes from his. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw his face fall and watched as he looked away too.

'I am so sorry.' He said suddenly, his voice shaking slightly with untold emotion. I looked at him again. He had his eyes closed and his fists were in balls. 'I didn't mean what I said. Renege just made me angry and I didn't think. I know its no excuse. I mean, I've already hurt you once, why should you ever trust me again right?' he continued. His voice was so strange, so emotional. I wondered vaguely what the emotion was. Could I trust it? He sounded pretty sincere. But then, he had sounded sincere when he told me he wasn't going to hurt me.

But then I remembered his face when he'd seen me in the corridor that evening. When I'd told him to leave me alone he looked like his heart had been broken. But I'd been too wrapped in my own stupid shock and hurt to notice. My eyes narrowed affectionately and I reached out to turn his head with my hand, smiling slightly as his eyes met mine. I saw him smile as he understood. I wasn't any good with words but I hoped my eyes told him what I wanted to say.

_I understand._

Then I saw pain clouded his eyes again. 'I am so sorry.' He told me again before pulling m into a hug. I blinked, surprised before hugging him softly back. 'I'm so sorry.'

I pulled my fingered through his hair softly. It was so soft, almost like fur. I kept hold of the end for a moment before he pulled back. I looked at him quizzically. He blushed and I felt my heart flutter.

'I have something to tell you.' He told me quietly, looking away and pulling his own had through his hair where I had. I watched him with narrowed eyes. He looked so nervous, like a little kid who had just broken his mother's best glasses. It was odd to see him this way but at the same time rather amusing.

'Ok?' I prompted slowly as he seemed to be getting nowhere. I wondered silently where this was going. He took a deep breath to ready himself before looking at me and taking my hand.

'I like you.' He said quickly. My eyes widened in the newest shock of the afternoon. Then he continued. 'I mean really like you, and I wondered if, maybe, you might want to be my girlfriend?' he finished, looking down, his face red. I stared at him, unable to answer. He looked up at me again worriedly. 'I mean only if you want to of course and only if you really forgive me because I don't want you going out with me if you don't really want to and-'

I cut off his ramblings by putting my finger to his lips. Smiling, I gave him my answer. 'I would love to be your girlfriend.' I told him happily. He smiled, glad about my agreement. 'But I can't say I trust you again.' I told him seriously, watching as his face began to fall. 'You have one chance left Kaoru Hittachiin.' I warned him, finding amusement in his serious look as he nodded profoundly.

Giggling quietly, I leaned forwards and closing my eyes. As my lips reached his, my heart raced. It was wonderful. Lady luck had been smiling on me today and I was grateful to her. We drew apart slowly, neither one of us wanting to kill the moment but it had to happen as the warning bell telling the students they needed to be back in class soon sounded and we wouldn't have privacy for much longer. Smiling ay each other, we went to our respective seats, each holding the others gaze as students began to return.

The classroom is still my favourite place in the world to think. Good things just seemed to happed there and I will always remember the fact that this had all started in this classroom and had ended in it too. I wished others could be watched by the mistress of luck in this classroom same as I.

Little did I know that my wish would come true.

**oxo…oxo**

**Well, that's it for this story I'm afraid. So sad!**

**I'm debating on a sequel. I know I've left it open for one but I don't know what to write just yet… I may have to get back to you on that… **

**Hope you liked it! I'm not sure on the ending but I just went with the flow… -_-**

**Anyway, please review! **


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